Animal Style

As you may have heard from the man himself, probably proud of his own stomach's flexibility, JP ate a 12 x 12 IN-N-OUT burger. Most of the time for a usually burger fan, a double double seems to fulfill all of our current needs, but for JP that's below acceptance line.

Many weeks ago, Nick and I went to participate in a Bible study with JP at the Starbucks near my house, famous for multiple Bible Study locations. After the Bible Study, Nick and JP still had growling stomachs so we walked down to Burger King, one of the only locations open at this time of night. We walked in the traditional Burger King on Eagle Rock Blvd. and Nick and JP both grabbed something to eat, I was not hungry. While Nick grabbed a relatively small meal, JP grabbed a triple Whopper and a double Whopper with casual fries on the side. Amazed at what JP had, I stared at him while he was engulfing the triple Whopper like a my massive dog.

He eventually finished both Whoppers and we were on our way back up Eagle Rock Blvd. to my house. On the way, JP said, "I have eaten a 4 x 4 at IN-N-OUT, today I eat a triple Whopper and a double Whopper that counts as 5 x 5. Next time at IN-N-OUT, I get a 12 x 12." Nick and I began laughing because not only was a 12 x 12 insane, he's linear mathematics seemed to be off - 4 x 4 to 5 x 5 then 12 x 12. "This is never going to happen," I thought to myself knowing that Nick was probably saying the same thing.

About a month later, only days after JP's birthday, September 15th, John Reid and I decided to take JP to IN-N-OUT for small gift for his birthday. Completely forgetting JP's goal, I didn't think much was going to happen. As we had gotten to the spot, and jumped out of the car, John had asked JP what he wanted to eat. JP's response was, as we all know, "I want a 12 x 12." So John, the gentleman and the scholar that he is, allowed JP to order it, but, as we soon found out, the highest number they make at IN-N-OUT was a 4 x 4. JP seemed crushed but was still down to get 2 4 x 4's, until the guy said, "You could order meat patties on the side." On the way to find a table, both, John and I, believed in JP, yet had some doubt as to whether he was truly going to finish it, and we seemed to be more vocal about the doubt. But as John brought over the tray with the 4 x 4 and 8 patties on the side, while JP and I were working on his math homework, we knew the game was on the line. JP slowly lost concentration on his math and paid close attention to the burger coming his way.

JP immediately grabbed the 4 x 4, opened up the bottom side of the bread, and began stuffing 2 patties at a time into his burger. He couldn't even hold the burger properly until he made it horizontal. Once he pounded his hands on the burger to flatten it out, it was game time. JP opened his mouth as vertical as possible, still not long enough for the burger, and took his signature bite into the burger only getting the patties. He continued until his mouth could not expand any farther, then he decided that swallowing would be a good option. Even the Asian couple next to use was amazed. But JP persisted. He continuously fought against the burger as if it were a normal activity for him. Once, we got into the 4th quarter, as he called it, where half patties had fallen onto the tray and 3 quarters of the burger was finished. JP got into the imagination that this was football, constantly using the terms, "HUT, HUT, HIKE!" before taking a monstrous chomp into the burger. After about 5 minutes of battling, JP finally finished. Then he remarked, "next time 20 x 20."